A.D.I.D.A.S.

I know no one really wants to hear about this, but I’ve been so…horny lately. (Sorry, Sarah, I know you’re grossed out right now.) I really can’t seem to help it or ignore it. I walk around work looking at my co-worker’s nether regions. I think about wieners and balls all day long! Like, there’s this petite Mexican guy named Mark who works in the dishpit here at the Co-op, and one of my first days here, Jade pointed him out to me and said that someone who used to work here dated him and was letting people see pictures of his penis. Apparently, it’s a big one. I have never seen those pictures, nor do I really talk to Mark, but now all I do is look at his crotch (whenever he’s not wearing an apron). He is kind of cute, though. I hope he never catches me gazing below his belt. I would jump so many bones of the people I work with. It’s terrible. Especially when Kelly’s around. Even if he’s not working, he comes in sometimes, and as soon as I hear his voice, I immediately forget what I was doing and get distracted. I just want to maul him, but I have never found an opportunity to. I guess he thinks I’m cute, although I’m sure he would never say anything to me about it. He told Manda that the only reason he hasn’t “tapped that” yet is because we work together. Which is a very valid point. Even though things are awkward between us (because everyone knows I think he’s cute, he knows I think he’s cute, and I’m pretty sure he knows that I know that he knows that I think he’s cute), I wouldn’t want the tension escalating. Also, Oshie is still in the picture. I really hope he never finds this, now that I think about it. He really, really wants me to move to Puerto Rico to live with him, his mom, and his mom’s boyfriend. He left before New Years, and I can’t even remember how long it’s been since we had sex. It’s almost unbearable. I like the idea of moving down there. I miss him so much, and I believe that I could be happy with him for the rest of my life. I don’t think anyone will ever love me like he does (without the heroin, of course). He’s doing so much better down there. He has a job, he’s not on drugs, and he’s been making lots of crocheted hats and bikinis that he’s selling. He sounds really happy and excited about life again, and that, in turn, makes me happy. I just don’t know if that would be a good idea. I just got a job that I really, really like, I have an apartment with one of my best friends, and I’m meeting a lot of new (and attractive) people that I’m not sure I can just get up and leave. I’ve been telling everyone that I have to seriously think about it. Which I am. I still need to make a pros and cons list like Oshie suggested. The top of the pros list would definitely be sex on the reg (and on the rag LOL). I miss our intimate connection and his wiener. I just don’t know if I’m ready for that type of commitment just yet. Because it is such a huge one. Like, marriage huge. Like, I thought for a long time that I wanted to get married and live happily ever after, but now, I’m kind of rethinking things. By the way, I just watched a two-year-old, grab his own glass and fill it with water. Now, he’s grabbing one for his mom, omg, this is so effing cute what a grown up little man. ANYWAY. I don’t know what I’m rambling on about other than the fact that I need to get laid one way or another. Also, working at the Co-op, it is more socially acceptable to not shave, so I fit right in. It also makes me feel less ashamed if someone does decide to bend me over somewhere. Ugh! Why can’t I just be impotent or something.