Sister,

Is it really necessary to take apart the vacuum in the middle of the hallway and then yell at your son when he starts to fuck with it? I feel it would be more productive and less stressful if you brought that project into your room and closed the door. Which is like, three feet from where you’re sitting right now.

Actual conversation that just happened between the two of them:
Isaac: “Shut up!”
Alicia: “You shut up! How do you like it?”
Isaac: “Why don’t you just shut up your butt!”

Can I just never have kids please.