January 2012
I don't think I'm going to be able to make it to...
I only got 2 hours of sleep last night (this morning), if that, and I had to open the store. I worked a ten hour shift. I AM EXHAUSTED. I don’t have any plans tonight, which, surprisingly, I’m not that butthurt about. Knowing me, I would normally be super depressed ‘cause I wanna get fuuuuqd up, but I’m just too tired to care right now. Plus, I have to open again tomorrow....
December 2011
3 tags
Stoner Story Time
Sarah went into the kitchen to make the few taquitos that were left in the box that we bought last night on our Safeway adventure. She went to put them in the microwave. She realized that she didn’t know how long she should keep them in for. She closed the microwave, and went to look at the directions on the box that she had thrown away. After she read the cooking time directions on the box,...
Sister,
Is it really necessary to take apart the vacuum in the middle of the hallway and then yell at your son when he starts to fuck with it? I feel it would be more productive and less stressful if you brought that project into your room and closed the door. Which is like, three feet from where you’re sitting right now.
Actual conversation that just happened between the two of them:...
the fuck
everyone I know is either getting married or having babies
did I miss something?
1 tag
k time to DJ diddles and then pass out
wait
was that tmi
So
I submitted that last video of me to Ellen
I rly hope she likes it
6 tags
gokristen-deactivated20120123-d asked: he's so attractive. why do people even debate.
dougiedougietalks:
gokristen:
So today some of these girls in my Pottery class were talking about Mr. Jacques. Suddenly, one of the girls turns to me and asks, “Kristen, do you think Mr. Jaqcues is kinda cute?” ARE YOU KIDDING ME? HE’S SO GORGEOUS AND SO FULL OF LIFE. HE’S ADORABLE. HE’S INCREDIBLE. MUSCULAR, BEAUTIFUL SMILE, BEAUTIFUL EYES. HE’S THE WHOLE PACKAGE. DFHA;;DLJFADFHWEN It...
I stood still, vision blurring, and in that moment, I heard my heart break. It...
– Diana Gabaldon (via atomiclanterns)
People run from rain but
sit
in bathtubs full of
water.
– Charles Bukowski (via atomiclanterns)
I am not having sex with anyone ever again
Okay maybe that is an exaggeration
I am never having sex with anyone I am not in a relationship with again. I am an idiot and get too attached and they can just not care at all and I care too much and I don’t even want to but I do I’m totally jealous and threatened this is stupid omg I am so crazy omg I’m THAT girl fuck my life
I just have to keep telling myself that I am the crazy nastyass honey badger that has no regard for other animals and gives no fucks
True Life: I’m addicted to sandwiches
Sandwiches I’ve Eaten Today:
steak + bacon + pepperjack cheese+ lettuce, tomato, cucumber, pickle, onion, green pepper, banana pepper, jalepeno + ranch + honey mustard
bacon + pepperjack, cheddar cheese + lettuce, tomato + mayonnaise + pepper
ham + onion, olive + shredded pepperjack cheese + Frank’s Red Hot